Strange Things That Make Me Write Better

As a writer I have a few weird habits that I use to help me write better or actually simply to make me write. About three years ago I stopped wearing a watch. Why? I didn’t like that constant reminder that time was ticking away, or I had to be somewhere, pick up someone and all that jazz.

What have I learned about not wearing a watch you might ask? A lot. I actually have more human to human contact on a daily basis now all because there are times that I really do need to know what time it is and I usually ask that simple question. “Excuse me, do you have the time?” Now I often thought I’d love to use that line on a gorgeous hunk of a guy, hoping he’d say, “For you baby I’ve got all the time in the world,” but alas that hasn’t happened so far. It’s only been three years, give me another few and we shall see if that fantasy comes true.

What I have discovered is that people love to talk and they want to be heard and listened to. I have learned so much about human behavior and the angst of what’s going on in a complete stranger’s life (sometimes it does get thrown into the story I’m working on) but I’ve also discovered people crave to talk to other people. Asking that simple time question has made me more patient. I do take the time to listen when the people I’ve asked start to talk and I usually walk away with a smile. Why? Because simply by discarding my watch I learn something new every day about someone I don’t know and that thrills me.

I also don’t own a cell phone. Now, I admit that sometimes I do use hubby’s but I hate it and most cases I never remember to even turn the blasted thing on. I’m a bit of a computer nut (not in a good sense) and I find when I’m off trying to write I’m aware that that blasted cell phone is on and I keep getting distracted by it. My fingers ache to type in a friend’s number and invite them to join me when I really should be writing. And I’m one of those people who hate listening in to other people’s cell phone conversations they’re having while waiting in line, because while I try not to listen…I admit I do. And later I’m rehashing a partial conversation in my mind with someone I don’t even know. So when I’m really pressed for a writing deadline, no cell phone for me.

I’d love to hear what tricks of the trade other writers use when they sit down to write, and I’d love to hear what “odd” things you’ve either adopted or dropped in your life. Personally, I think if we all got rid of our watches life would be a lot sweeter and much more relaxed.

It’s Hard Writing Erotica

It’s hard writing erotica romance. Okay, everyone has permission to laugh out loud with that little tidbit. But in all seriousness, writing erotica means using sharp words (some would call crude or dirty words) that are essential to the story. The joy of reading erotica is that it should get you all hot and bothered in a good way. When I started writing erotica I found this great book by Susie Bright called, How to Write a Dirty Story.

Bright’s book made me laugh and take pride in the honesty behind those “dirty” words we all like to say, hear and even read.“You might be able to fake an orgasm, but you will never be able to fake your way through writing a sex scene. Every reader will know you’re a fraud. The biggest hurdle as an erotic writer is to write believably,” writes Bright, adding, “Erotica is harder than usual in this regard, because sex is such a touchy subject, and we have to overcome so much cynicism and consumer-oriented titillation.” Bingo! she’s dead on.

I honestly believe that to be a successful erotic writer, you personally need to thoroughly enjoy sex and the mechanics of how it works for both men and women. As a writer, you need to know when it’s suitable to use the word penis, cock, shaft, vagina, cunt or pussy. Do I get all hot and bothered with the word penis? Probably not, but sometimes even in an erotic story, that might not be the authors intent in the beginning.While vagina and penis conjure up a more medical description of that particular anatomy, write cock and cunt and you’ve probably snagged the reader's attention. More important than those hard “c” words, you need to have all the fundamental elements to a good story.

If you don’t have developed characters, plot, and tension between the hero and heroine, and use timing in your story to develop those luscious sex scenes, it simply won’t work, or it won’t read honestly. And sometimes that means making your sex scene rough, sweet or juicy. The key factor in erotica writing is the intensity of sex, the use of those “naughty” words to further one's imagination and how sex relates to the plot.

Writing a sex scene just for the sex won’t snag your reader. And that’s where we encounter the “hard” part of erotica writing.As an author you always need to ask yourself, “How does this sex scene relate to the story? Is it essential? Does it enable the reader to learn another aspect of a character? Does it leave the reader with an emotional-impact?" And if you can’t read your erotica writing out loud, then don’t write it. Or better yet, teach yourself the power of those naughty words. That was one lesson I took to heart from reading Bright’s book.

Bright writes that the goal of an erotica writer is, “To discover the sexual and aural power of speaking erotic prose, to test literature you’re unsure of. If it doesn’t work out loud, it’s not going to be successful for silent readers, either." To become as fluent speaking erotic language as you are writing it—one enhances the other. And after you finish, she writes, you’ll never believe again… “That erotica is meant to be private, that speaking verse and prose is a dull exercise, that reading aloud is only for actors, and that words can’t be sex.”